First Semester in Medical School: It's a Hot Start

The night before my flight, I finished packing everything that I thought I'd need into one cabin trolley, a big backpack, and two large check-in luggages: one was mine and the other one - I borrowed the space of my BF's luggage while he put all of his stuff in his small cabin trolley and a big backpack.

January 23, 2023, 6:10AM

The morning of my flight, I awoke to the sound of my alarm at 3. My BF and I scrambled out of the sofa bed and began to get ready. Our flight was at 10 and so we have to get to Heathrow Airport by 8am the latest. Past 6AM before we left Clifton Road, I forgot my neck pillow so I went back to the apartment. My parents opened the flat door and I quickly went and fetched the pillow from the sofa bed. I then hugged them again and had to muster all of my strength not to cry.

And oh boy let me tell you, that was the first of many of "the hardest things I never imagined I would be doing" this year - and we're only just in January. 

I got to the car, and in my mind I thought: "when will I ever be able to hug them again?" I cried throughout our drive to Heathrow. 

I've always known myself to be very tough and independent. I'm proud to say how I know I've been through a lot of challenges through the years: I went to University away from home and had a gruelling 5 long years of studying a pre-medical BSc in OT while also being a 'working scholar'. After that, I've worked away from home too, in Manila to get hospital experience so I can apply for work abroad. In the Phils, if you're an OT working in the hospital, you don't earn significantly as much compared to those working in private clinics/rehabilitation centres. So while 'getting experience', I learned how to budget my very humble pay to be able to 'live within my means.' And man, it was easier said than done. It made me realise how easy I had it while I was just a student: I didn't technically have to worry about anything else but just focus on passing and getting through school. But school was simple and easy. I'd let the adults take care of the problems and everything else. So naturally, after graduating, I felt so out of my comfort zone because I've always been good at studying - and now that's done.

Going into adulthood and facing adult problems made me realise that although I was good at school, I did not feel ready to face life at all. I honestly don't think there was anything taught at school to help prepare for life outside of it. I was so anxious that I would make a mistake or mistakes, become a failure and live a miserable life. 

But with the grace and guidance of God, I pulled through and I moved to the UK; to another continent farther away from home. I started over with a clean slate and it was one of the best decisions of my life. I was in 'greener pastures'. In the UK, I was able to practice OT, save some money, give back to my parents, and travel around Europe. I was free and literally, can do anything I wanted. But it wasn't easy at the beginning. Being an OFW, you had to adjust to the climate, the culture, to an entirely new and different workplace and life, etc. But no matter how 'greener' it was in the UK, I still felt homesick.

Even now, I still believe in the PH slogan, "It's more fun in the Philippines."

To be perfectly honest, yes, it is indeed more fun in the Philippines and I don't care whether you believe it or not. It took me about 3 years before the UK started to 'feel like home.' Only when I got back to the UK from the first time I went home to the Philippines did it really start to feel like one.

You'd think that with all of these past 'moves' away from home I've gone through I would've been strong enough not to experience any homesickness this time around. Moving to Antigua temporarily to study for 2 years shouldn't be anything new to me, right? But when I got there - let me just say this:

Never have I ever felt the loneliest and terribly homesick in my entire life than when I was on that island.

Every morning when I wake up in Antigua, I had to remind myself over and over again my reasons 'why' I made that decision. That's how homesick I was; every day was a battle to keep fighting and going forward.

Last ICM Class Day

During the 1st three months, the only two good things I could think of while I was there in Antigua are that one: I get to eat chicken everyday because it's the cheapest protein available in the island and it's the only one my budget can actually afford. But I do love chicken - so it was literally "winner winner, chicken dinner" every day. The second good thing is that it's a beautiful island with 365 beaches. The only down side though is that I don't have time nor taxi money/transportation means to visit those beaches. But still, the temperature is way warmer all throughout the year compared to the UK, and it kind of eased the homesickness the tiniest bit. The warmer temperature also helped a little with controlling my high blood pressure - so, that's another win.

However, there are some days when temperatures rise up to 38 degC. In those days my feet would be so swollen at the end of the day that I can feel fluid waves whenever I take a step.

So, yeah. That's the start of my medical journey.

My Medical School Journey: The Roots of the Tree

This is a "tell-all" series regarding my medical journey. But I'm going to have to start this series of blogs with something very cliché.

"Since I was a kid, I've always dreamed of becoming a great medical doctor."

As an Asian kid, two main reasons drove me to have this dream. Firstly, I looked up to both my grandparents who were both medical doctors: one was a pediatrician and the other was an internist. Whenever we go into their house, they always have overflowing gifts from different people and medical agencies/companies/representatives, and even politicians. They were "rich" in my eyes; living abundantly and comfortably. I wanted to be like that too. I wanted to give my parents a really good life like what they have. And the second reason was that in the Philippines, doctors were regarded with the highest respect and medicine is seen as a very noble profession. These two reasons fueled my desire to strive to become one in the future.

Hence, all throughout schooling, I made sure that I will have a fighting chance to achieve my dream by building an outstanding academic resume. I applied to Universities for a pre-medical course and I was blessed enough to graduate from the University of Santo Tomas with a Bachelor's Degree in Occupational Therapy (OT). My family and I were able to overcome the financial difficulties; I was a working scholar and that covered the tuition fees, and my parents and eldest sister covered the miscellaneous fees and living expenses. God carried our family through it for 5 long years. I studied hard, however, sometimes fate has a way of being funny, and so even though I wasn't able to graduate with cum laude by missing a mere point something, I still emerged as the most outstanding OT intern/student for our Batch of 2013.

UST CRS Commencement Exercise Batch 2013

It would have been ideal to go straight to medicine after graduating. But since our family does not have the financial capacity to fund it, after passing the OT licensure examinations, I worked as an occupational therapist. It was the only decision that made sense. I can get to practice the profession and earn to save up for medicine and at the same time try to give back to my parents or at least help out a wee bit with monthly expenses.

Occupational Therapist UK Registered/Licensed

I practiced OT for about 2 years in the Philippines until God led me to greener pastures, and got me a job in the United Kingdom in 2015. I worked for less than 7 years before starting this medical journey. I was an OFW who was able to bring over her parents, grandmother and younger brother to the UK for a 3-month vacation during my first year of transfer (in collaboration with my older sister and one of my aunts who are both British citizens) . Together with my older sister, we were able to have our house rebuilt into that which my parents dreamed of, and I helped with monthly expenses by sending remittance until my younger brother graduated from University with a Bachelor's Degree in Medical Technology (now known as Medical Laboratory Science).

When I was able to save up some money and after having 'given back' to my parents, I figured it was time for me to pursue my MD dream. I was naturalized as a British citizen, I then took the UCAT and applied but all three Universities declined me for several reasons. Some of the reasons being because my educational qualifications are from the Philippines plus I technically have been out of school for about 10 years - making me a 'mature' student - having to compete with thousands of fresh UK graduates with 'better looking' educational qualifications (eg A levels, etc) than what I've got. Imagine: the cycle that I applied for had nearly 29,000 applications for only about 9500 spots. 

It was next to impossible for someone like me to successfully get into a UK medical school - not to mention how discriminatory the admission procedures of the UK system are. It was shocking how easily you can be discriminated against.

After failing to get into any medical school, I did my research and found that in the whole of UK, University of Warwick (UW) has a tie-up with a Caribbean school, the American University of Antigua (AUA), wherein after successfully completing the preclinical sciences (ie passing all 4 semesters over a period of 2 years) in their campus, a student can apply to transfer to UW and join the clinical rotations in the 3rd year. 

What's even funny, is that UW is about 30-45 min. drive from boyfriend's house in Rugby. And so, you might have guessed what happened next. I applied to AUA thinking that it was absolutely and completely an absurd idea. I knew that it would never happen anyway. But lo and behold, I got a reply back from the UK admissions team, I was interviewed and boom, I was offered a position for Fall 2021. You can only imagine the shock I had after receiving the letter from AUA.

The problem I faced after that was the reality that I needed to self-fund (ie pay out of pocket for ALL of the expenses: school fees and living expenses) because the UK government would not give any financial assistance since the school is out of the country, and at the same time, I would have to temporarily live as a student in another continent.

Essentially, I would have to "drop everything and move to a Caribbean island which is about 7000 miles away from the UK, where I know completely nobody, and know nothing of their culture. I literally just have to be a student studying for 2 years ."

It felt as if God was testing me: to see whether or not I really want this dream or not. It seemed like the craziest and for sure, the biggest decision I would have to make especially during that time when I seemed to have found the perfect workplaces (ie I was working as the lead/band 7 OT in an in-patient rehabilitation unit in Teddington Memorial Hospital from Mondays thru Wednesdays, and with the Discharge to Assess Team in Wandsworth on Thursdays and Fridays). The teams were among the best people I've ever worked with, and I was earning so much more as a locum OT that I never had to work an extra shift over the weekend which I was doing when I was an acute hospital OT in Kingston Hospital for about 5 years. 

To be really honest, my life seemed "perfect."

I was perfectly content with all aspects - emotionally, spiritually, financially, socially... all except for my professional thirst and passion for medicine. I felt like my professional growth had been stagnant and I was no longer getting any job satisfaction no matter how well paid I was and even though I was surrounded with great people at work. "I was no longer happy." I couldn't see myself doing the same thing for the next 5 years. And I didn't want to feel that way everyday when I go to work. I felt like I needed to and that I owed it to myself to try to pursue my MD dream by hook or by crook. God gave me a sign and told me to go to Antigua.

And so I've decided to chase my MD dream, and off to the Caribbeans I went.

For three semesters now, I was taking out a Richland Loan offered by a private US-based lending company tied-up with AUA. The loan covers 75% of the tuition fee (TF) and the remaining 25% is paid out-of-pocket (OOP). I got my aunt, one of my dad's closest cousins, who is a retired nurse living in California as my co-signer. And then by working tirelessly every term break, I was able to secure funds to cover the 25% OOP TF plus the living expenses (ie monthly house rent/fee and food allowance) for the duration of the terms. God has been carrying us through this journey.

God's perfect timing...

This system seemed to have worked with a little help from my parents, some relatives and friends. However, for the 4th semester, I am faced with yet another financial challenge as I would not be able to work enough weeks because I am going to undergo surgery to remove my right adrenal gland. 

Life happened...

Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with Cushing's on my birthday this January 2024, which was like over a week before I go back to AUA for the 3rd semester. I didn't want to take a break or pause medical school so I decided to go ahead with the 3rd semester and aim to have the surgery over this summer break.

I had to go private and pay using the school's insurance because the NHS route is taking forever. Imagine, I was referred to the surgeon last January and up until now, I still haven't heard anything from them at all - thank you, NHS.  And now I am awaiting my surgery date this June.

We're praying that all goes well, and I can get to recover quickly so that I would still be able to work as much as I can to save up some money for MED4.

And thus, with a hopeful heart, I started GoFundMe.