What A Broke Medical Student Looks Like: Time Management at its finest and God's Grace

The main purpose of this blog is to help paint a picture of my experience so far having been in medical school for three semesters. I can confirm that the major force that has gotten me throughout this is my faith in God. For every non-believer, I could actually attest that my whole life is a testimonial of God's greatness. He has carried me through every single hurdle. And I owe everything to Him.

I am here because of Him.

And for all honesty, as cliche as it sounds, the 2 reasons I originally had as to why I had this dream in the first place are no longer the main reasons why I am doing this. My experience as an occupational therapist both in the Philippines and more so in the UK has become the main fuel or drive to become a doctor.

I just feel it in my bones that I was born to become one; that I can help more and do more if I become one. 

I'm not doing it for the money or the fame - I could've gone to other professions to get those. I am doing this because I want to be an instrument of His healing ; so I can help other people. Trust me, I would never have put myself into this self-imposed grueling hardship if I didn't genuinely want this. I have put my entire life on hold because of this dream. I wouldn't even wish this kind of hardship on my worst enemies - also cause I don't think they'd be able to handle it. (wink wink) 

As a skint medical student in a foreign island, I have 3 main priorities on the top of my list: meeting my most basic physiological needs (includes being 'healthy'), efficient management of  money  (for paying the rent, food, basic essentials like toiletries, household items, school supplies, etc) and  time , and studying.

Cupcakes baked by my first med. friend

Those were the only things that greatly mattered while I was in Antigua and literally nothing else especially during my first semester. I decided that I would solely focus on studying and make sure I pass before I allowed myself to do anything else. It was also the time to test the waters - see how hard studying medicine is, the style of teaching of the professors, the 'school' environment, my fellow students, etc. I was still establishing my routine and was trying to get back to the full on 'student mode' and switch from a professional who's already worked a significant amount of time. Also - I feel I'm no longer in the 'top shape' for studying compared to when I was younger. So let's say everything else became 'sub-important' or got filed under the 'worry or think about it later.' And those were like my family/relatives/BF (plus all the drama attached), friendship, non-school-related/extra-curricular activities (eg clubs, school politics, etc), news, etc.

I was like a horse with blinders - always just looking forward towards the goal: finish medical school in one go and as quickly as possible. I literally cannot afford to fail - I told myself that if I fail in any form or way, then that's the end of the line for me.

And so for me, coming to Antigua to chase my medical career dream means FAILURE IS AND WILL NEVER BE AN OPTION .

Hence, I studied everyday of the week. You can only find me in four places when I'm in Antigua: my apartment, on school/campus daily (about 90% of the time in the level three library commons or in a classroom when attending live lecture), the grocery store ( at least once a month mostly to do food-shopping), and the Catholic church (on Sundays when I get a ride/transportation).

Holy Family Cathedral

I've established a routine that manages my time so well so it's balanced between meeting my most basic physiological needs and studying. I've stuck to this routine which has indeed changed a little bit over the three semesters. But medical school is really damn hard. There's always too much content that needs to be covered over the shortest amount of time. After just the first semester, I have acquired a deeper understanding and a different level of respect and admiration for all medical doctors in the world.

What follows is what a typical day of 'MED1 Me' looks like.

My day starts at 6AM. I get up, drink my anti-HTN medications and vitamins, and prepare my ' baon ' (coffee and food for lunch, snacks, and dinner) into my lunch bag while talking to my parents (or to my BF when he is on a late shift at work) in FB messenger. I have been automatically enrolled into the school bus service which has specific pick up times to/from the school housing which meant that if I missed the bus, then I'd have to walk to campus or back home. So for the following semesters, I availed of a taxi service for $450 US (same fee for the school bus) for the whole semester and that takes me to and from school everyday (except on Sundays) on times that I want and it includes one grocery run per week. I walk to and from school on Sundays if I don't get a ride home or sometimes, when I do get transportation to go to the 7AM Sunday mass, I get to have a ride to campus after that too.

AUA COM Main Building

I'm already on campus before 8AM. I refill my water bottle in the water fountain and then settle in my usual table in level 3 (L3) library commons. I found that I cannot study in the quiet rooms (where you're not allowed to talk let alone breathe) but I get to concentrate more in a loud environment like L3. In L3, I can also eat and video call my parents/siblings/BF on FB messenger. Most of the time, they just watch me or are just in the background while I study.

AUA Campus

I study in L3 until 8 in the evening. For me, a "break" means doing ANYTHING ELSE apart from studying. So I don't really have a lot of breaks. My only breaks are reserved only for 'verbs' that are for meeting physiological needs like eating (ie lunch sometime between 1-3PM and dinner sometime between 6-9PM), toileting/personal hygiene, etc or going to church/hearing online mass. I do have occasional 'snacks' but I don't take a break from studying. Also from time to time in the library, some people will come by and have a chat but I try to minimize this as much as possible.

As I also try to maintain 'being healthy' which for me equates to 'not getting sick while studying,' I make sure I have some exercise during the week. My goal has been to go to the free school gym for at least an hour 3x (MWF) a week. When I do manage to force myself to go, because sometimes laziness wins and I justify it further with 'I still have a lot of studying to do,' I go between 6-8PM. With God's mercy and grace, I have never been sick for the past 3 semesters - alleluia!

When I get home from school, I tidy up my bag (wash lunch box contents) and if I didn't have my dinner at school (usually on days I go to the gym), then I'll have dinner while talking to my parents and my younger brother in Canada on FB messenger. After that, I have a short break to shower and go back to studying usually from past 10 until 12 midnight. Then I go to sleep. And the cycle repeats after 6 hours.

At least one Saturday a month, I'd go with one of my classmates-turned-friend who has a car to the grocery store early in the morning and then I meal-prep by cooking 2-3 meals which will last me a good 3 weeks. Then on Sundays, if I get a ride with a friend, I go to the cathedral for mass. But most Sundays, I just have to resort to watching online mass in YouTube either by Manila Cathedral or Quiapo Church. I almost always end up crying after receiving the body of Christ and I pray for Him to grant me the strength and wisdom to make it through this journey.

That was my routine. I never missed a live lecture class - either online or in person. Always on a Friday night, during the 5-7 minute ride home, I imagine how I would relax and take a break by watching an episode of MasterChef, just simply playing Boggle or checking social media on my phone. But the minute I get home, I do my routine and all thoughts of 'relaxation' go out the window. I said I'd just reward myself after the work is done. And I just don't want things simply 'to be done', they'd have to be 'done well.'

There is no rest for the wicked.

And that routine paid off and keeps paying off because for the 1st two semesters, I'm proud to say that I was part of the Dean's Honor Roll which is the top percentage of the whole batch. I never cared what other students got on every exam or quiz or assessment - myself was my only competition. I strived to be better than myself from the day before as much as I could. For all those who can relate:

I was Taguro (from the anime Yu Yu Hakusho aka Ghost Fighter).

I'm giving it my 1000%. Like I said,  I absolutely cannot fail .