That Thing Called Tadhana

I just got home from a client's house, where I provided occupational therapy service for about an hour. I was really tired and I felt like not having dinner and just going straight to bed. But today, I have jogging or Nike Training Club session inputted as part of my Project Summer Bod. So I willed myself to changing into running clothes and dragged myself to the University. I usually jog for about an hour around the grandstand. The first 3 laps for warming up included jogging the three legs of the grandstand at a fair pace, and then doing brisk walking for the 4th leg. This is then followed by 10 laps of nonstop jogging around the grandstand at a slow pace. And then for cooling down, I do 2 laps of leisure walking, still, around the grandstand.

 

During my 1st lap of leisure walking, I was about to pass by a guy drinking from his water bottle. When I was almost in front of him, he started walking at a pace similar as mine so that he was walking just a few steps ahead of me. This went on for about the whole length of 2 legs of the grandstand. I was even singing some lyrics of Coldplay's The Scientist while I was walking leisurely behind him. By the time I was about to be at the same level as him, I decided to overtake him since I felt like he might think I was following him.

After overtaking him, I started thinking to myself, as I always do, how I am growing old real fast. I said to myself that I am already 24 years old, and that if I wanted to be married by 29 or 30, I should have started having a serious relationship by now. I was talking to God, and asking Him what his plans are for me. I started to feel panic welling up on the pit of my stomach, because up until now, I don't really have anyone whom I can consider as someone I'd spend the rest of my life with. 

 

During my 2nd lap of leisure walking, at the same spot where I almost passed by the 'guy', I was looking up at the sky, and enjoying the view of the stars, which is a rare view here at the city, what with all of the smog and cloudy skies. While I was singing some lyrics of Coldplay's A Sky Full of Stars, somebody tapped my left forearm, and I jolted. I immediately took off the earphones and turned off the music. It was the 'guy' from before.

He said, "Hi! I don't usually do this. But, can I ask you a question?" Flabbergasted, I replied, "Oh, ok. What is it?"

 

He said, "I just noticed from earlier, but are you perhaps following me around?" If it was somebody else without the cute face, I would have been offended. But I couldn't get myself to feel irritated. Instead, I felt kilig vibes all the way, what with all of the cuteness in the way he said it. So I said, "Umm, no, of course not! I was just doing my cooling down. In fact, it's my 1st lap of leisure walking."

He then said, "Oh, man. Really? You were just really doing some cooling off? I mean, cooling down?" He looked disappointed but in an amused kind of way. "Oh, well. by the way, I'm Dave." I was shocked, but I shook his hand as I was introducing myself, "Lara."

And then he went on by asking me about where I live, why do I allow myself to be tired if I've got classes the next day --- to which I answered that I don't have classes anymore, and then he figured that I was already a graduate. And he was really amazed and shocked that I was not a freshman, that he thought I was kidding. We talked about my job, and from which high school he graduated from. We talked until we finished one lap of my leisure walking. And then, he said, "Listen, if ever you're gonna be doing this again, can I jog with you?" I jokingly replied with a smirking face, "Well, can you keep up?" He laughed and said, "Okay, now, I'll be the one to boast. I was actually a football athlete during high school. So now, I'll ask you, can you keep up?"

He asked for my number. But for some unknown reason, I replied that I have not my mobile phone with me. He thought I didn't want to give him my number, so I told him in a hurry, "Okay, okay. I'll get your number." And then he gave me his number, we shook hands again, and we parted ways.

I was supposed to go home at a leisure walking pace, but with what happened, I couldn't stop myself from running. Because I couldn't believe that what just happened really happened. I never really thought that "tadhana" is something that plays a role in my life. But even though it's just for one night, and it's prolly not something big as well, it made me realize that sometimes, life doesn't just gives you lemons, it taps you in your hand and hands you out a lemonade --- something you're not expecting, but something that might be, JUST MAYBE, even better.

One Night with the King

Sometimes when we awake from a very beautiful dream, we have the urgent compulsion to write everything that we can remember about that dream before it becomes as vague as a moment in our life from what seemed like a couple of lightyears ago. And just like awaking from a very beautiful dream, I write this story before I forget. For moments like one night with the king is something I should remember for a lifetime.

Every year, people come and go. Hell, everyday, people do come and go. For life is like a great terminal where people wait for their respective buses/vehicles for transport. Once on board, some busy themselves with work, others watch and enjoy the ever changing scenes from the windows, some would sleep or rest, while others do a combination of such. But regardless of what one was doing, everyone's worried about the journey, and how fast they can get to their destination. Some would want to speed up the journey, while others wished they had taken the longest route. Everyone anticipates the destination, but no one really ever wants to get there first. Time plays with everyone; speeding up during the happiest of times, and slowing the hell down during the lowest of the low times. But whatever detour we might encounter on the way, everyone keeps on going. Sometimes, because the sceneries in our windows do not change for the longest time, we start to think that they wouldn't, and then we just keep on going and going until we finally reach a point in our journey when we forget where we are going, as well as the reasons why.

This year, everything was about beginnings and endings. Every month, we encounter these two. Every rotation, we see new, and sometimes even old, faces. We learn, we experience. We remember, we forget.

Of course, we tend to remember more those moments that made an impact or those that were significant  for reasons we can or cannot say. This dream was one of those moments. And these are what transpired.

As if for some unknown reasons, the rain poured it's heart out and flooded the streets of the Metro. Thus, resulting to heavy traffic in almost all of its roads making it one hell of a way to end a week for commuters. That day was supposed to be significant since it was supposed to be the day when the protagonist, A, would graduate from a very significant rotation of her life, The H. However, because of the flooding, A never got to the rites on time. Luckily, there was an after party and that was where all the moments happened.

The party was a combination of booze, food, great company, games, "fun," and swimming! A never thought she'd enjoy herself since her two best buds were unable to come. Nonetheless, making the most out of the fee that she paid, she constantly tried stopping herself from sighing all throughout the night. It's not just because her two best buds weren't unable to come, but it was because she was seeing someone she knew she could never have, and that was in itself too upsetting, that's why she kept on wanting to let out a good sigh.

She kept on convincing not just other people but also herself that she was having a good time. She laughed with others, swam on the pool, ate good food, and drank lots and lots of liquor. Until she finally broke through the net that her killjoy mood has enveloped her with. She finally decided to just do whatever she wants to do. And one of her first thoughts was... to try out one great drink from a very "adorkable" server, C. She considered her moves and what she would have to do for her to reach her goals that night. But she could think of none that aren't involving having herself look like she was trying real hard. Until an opportunity came knocking in the form of a hunk, D.

D put his left UE around her and asked her why she liked C so much. She knew what was happening in an instant so she just went with the flow and told him, surprisingly, the truth... that she herself doesn't know what made her have this so much puppy crush with C. And then they talked about the drink C's been serving, and A said she wanted to give it a try. So D guided her to the server, and then, strike one.

Strike one: drink an unknown drink for the first time, down it in one gulp, and then tell the person serving it "good job!" WTF? Well, that was what happened. A couldn't help herself, so she took advantage of the situation. So the next thing involved a camera, and two shots with one of them having C's right UE around her. Amazing how fast things came about.

And, then, nothing again for hours.

But then, the heavens sent another hero, in the form of E, with his cards! Playing cards was really fun, especially if you add a consequence for the loser: the classic truth or dare. The moment I played with my mates, I knew something would be up. We had a few rounds, and then F came, and in an instant I knew things would get crazyyy! The second time I lost was to F, and the deed that I had to do was follow C outside as he takes a walk with 7 others. And then, strike two.

Strike two: run after him, then slow down while approaching him, and then say, "I was sent here?" Ok. WTF? And then, walk for around 20 to 30 minutes. Initially, awkward... but then, we shouldn't forget who our protagonist is, this is A we're talking about. So, she took the liberty to rack her brains for topics and then she thought, "WTH? Just be yourself. Give it out on the open; whoever you are. And then all they have to do was whether they take it or leave it." So she started small talk and then that was strike two. The moment she came back from that walk, she knew everything's changed. For strike two was what she has wanted all this time... a chance to talk seriously about things, and to level up the surface on which both of them walk. It was over for her, she wasn't expecting anything more to happen. Except, another round of games, but this time with C, gave her strike 3.

Strike three: who would have thought that a game of cards would be this much fun? Except there were dire consequences at the end of each game, that our dear A strived and tried her very best so that she does not lose against C. Because at the end of the game, it all came down between her 2 aces, and his single card. So she won, and he lost. WTH. And the consequence was... something she would never have anticipated, that she even tried to avoid it by going to the shower area and pretend she was looking for someone. But when she came back, all she could ever do was accept whatever happened.

One night with the king was a book telling a story of a girl who was sent to the King's chambers to please him for a night so that maybe in the morrow, she might be chosen to be the next queen. But instead of pleasing the king with her body, the protagonist spent the whole night talking and amazing the king with her thoughts on life, war, kingdoms, and love.

All of the girls in the kingdom wouldn't have dared to do the same thing as she did if they were in her place. But then, that was what made her so special. Because she was the only one who liked the king so much that she thought of the most special way to please him. She wanted to make him feel that he was safe and that he can be anyone that he wants to be whenever he's with her.

Sometimes, we would do everything or anything for the people that we love. And we would know for a fact who are these people that we would give up everything for, because these are the people that we would spend endless nights thinking about, and imagining that someday, maybe someday, they'll see us and then appreciate us for whoever we are, and who we can and will be.

I want those moments. I envy A because she had moments like those.

For sometimes, it's not the world's greatest riches that are the most important. Sometimes, simple chances to be with those you love can become the greatest treasure one can ever have, because these are the treasures that one can never buy.

- Keso

One Night of Solitude

Every now then, we get to the point in our lives when we just have to stop, shut out the world and be only with ourselves; be it inside our own bedroom listening to music, or just having a random stroll wherever our feet take us.

These times of being alone make us think and even talk to ourselves, to listen to what our minds are trying to say; like a reality check. We might even start to laugh or possibly cry, or both. During these times, we're free; free from everything and free to do anything. Sometimes, we choose to be alone. While other times, being alone chooses us.

There are people who experience moments of "emptiness"; like there's a hole inside you or that feeling that you're hollow and that you just can't seem to be filled by anything at that very moment. You may find yourself wandering around, not knowing where your feet might take you. But just walking and not thinking about anything in particular, just some random thoughts; like constantly switching channels of a television.

Sometimes, we're able to figure out the reason why 'alone' chose us or why we chose to be alone. And sadly, sometimes we don't; we just snap out of this reverie and keep moving forward.

Solitude; a state or situation of being alone. A night of one can put you at ease or at times, make you even more anxious. Life has always been so complicated, but there are just times when everything seems too complex and we're left standing at crossroads, not knowing which path to choose and what action to do.

When we think about it, being alone doesn't necessarily mean that we're lonely. I believe that being alone is more of a choice of state or situation while being lonely is more of a feeling or emotion. Sometimes, it even takes more courage to be alone than to be with others. Unless of course, those others are trying to kill you.

Some people take this time of solitude to be able to step back and look at the bigger picture. Life is happening at all the corners of this circle world, and only a few people would stop brisk walking or running to cut lines in MRT in a hurry to go home, go out with friends, or go to school/work. For the few people who would actually slow down and try to take in details from their surroundings, the buildings, the people passing by, the trees, the sky... Sometimes, these are the people who are able to take pleasure in even the simplest, minutest details. At times, they can even be surprised; like seeing things for the very first time even though they've been passing that same street or corner for a very long time. This could be because they're the ones who would take time to appreciate these details' worth. For others who are always hurrying up to get to the next destination, they might find time to be exactly speeding up, matching their pace.

Every once in a while, we tend to have these nights of solitude. But instead of speeding up, take advantage of these moments and try slowing down. Maybe we'll see life around us, and it'll feel like everything else is also slowing down. After all, this is our one life, and it is ending one minute at a time.

By hurrying in life, not only do we fail to see the beautiful sceneries around us, but we also tend to lose sense of where we are going and the reason why.

Surviving the Howling Winds of Habagat

To say that 'the Hagupit (wrath) of Habagat was extreme' is an understatement. First of all, it's not even a storm to begin with. It refers to the southwest monsoon, a weather pattern that usually happens in the Philippines during the months of May to October. During this period, tropical storms usually lambast the country, which can result in up to heavy flooding in large areas of the Metro and small towns or cities in the provinces.

This year, the winds of Habagat got tangled up with the rains of a passing storm, Gener. The storm kind of enhanced the winds of Habagat through an upgrade, i.e. torrential rains. This resulted to a week's worth of classes gone, thousands of Filipinos evacuated from their homes, and a 3-day flooding of huge areas of Southern Luzon.

On the midday of the 6th of August, Monday, 2012, I received an infoblast from the CSC of UST saying that classes have been suspended effective by 12 NN. I was actually overjoyed, since I was really feeling lazy that time. But I totally didn't expect it as well to happen. I mean, never in my wildest dreams did I ever actually think that I'd get to experience such a number of suspension of duty hours during my internship year. It was crazy to begin with.

Nonetheless, instead of going back to UST, I headed straight home so that I can rest since I was feeling a little tired that day. During my jeepney ride enroute to Lacson, I suddenly felt the urge to go back to Tayuman and do some groceries. But since I was really feeling too lazy, I decided against it; a mistake which I just came to realize after the flood was about 4 inches from reaching our dorm's 1st floor.

Picture a chilly night when you're warmly tucked in your bed, with the electricity still on, meaning there's still internet, and everything was just perfect, except for the fact that your tummy aches because it's got nothing to eat since lunch time.

Being a person with a really big appetite, I was craving for food the moment I knew that it was the only necessity which was running out quicker than the downpour of the rain. The only stocks of food left on my drawer were noodles that needed cooking. Unfortunately, our gas run out the afternoon before the flooding began. Luckily, I had my dorm buddies with me during the storm. What we did was, we pooled all our resources together and we ate to our heart's content during the 1st night; a mistake that we only came to realize the day after when the rain would not stop pouring and the flood levels are still rising in most parts of the Metro.

It actually came to a point in time when we were all so hungry that we were trying to call McDonald's delivery and beg for them to deliver food to us. But we were turned down every single time.

We then decided to eat small portions of what was left of our resources during the 2nd day so that in case the rain would not stop until the middle of the week, we would still have some food to eat until it stops. However, during the third day, we were all so very hungry that we had to have my brother go out and brave the flooded streets of Espanya to buy food for us in the Trabajo market near our dorm.

This time around, we decided to pool a different kind of resource, money. We realized that we had plenty of them but that realization has also made us come to understand the saying:

After the last tree is cut, the last river is poisoned, and the last fish is caught, only then will man be able to realize that he cannot eat his money.

It was actually very fitting to this 3-day flooding experience. If I have experienced such during the lambast of Ondoy, I would not have had such very favorable conditions. Comparing my experience during the Ondoy onslaught, we had no food with us, no electricity, no water, no bathroom, we've nothing. I then realized how lucky I really was that my Habagat experience was not interchanged with that of Ondoy's. I was also very lucky to have my dorm buddies with me during this time because they were really resourceful; who would have known that 5 eggs, an onion, and 2 potatoes can actually fill 5 stomachs? It was amazing how man can problem solve at times when there seems to be no other choice but to do such.

I realized how this flooding was not very far to the storms that we experience within ourselves. I mean, we could have all of the characteristics/strengths/traits (the food me and my dorm buddies had), but if we fail to use these efficiently, we won't be able to outlast the storm, and we would die. If we had not these companions (my dorm buddies) to help us get through these storms, we may not last even for a single night. If we had not these blessings, then who are we?

It's just really a simple change in perspectives to see things in our lives differently... and maybe things would not seem too complicated as they seem. Life after all is already too complicated, why make it even more complicated? :)

Untill the next post!

- Keso