One Night of Solitude

Every now then, we get to the point in our lives when we just have to stop, shut out the world and be only with ourselves; be it inside our own bedroom listening to music, or just having a random stroll wherever our feet take us.

These times of being alone make us think and even talk to ourselves, to listen to what our minds are trying to say; like a reality check. We might even start to laugh or possibly cry, or both. During these times, we're free; free from everything and free to do anything. Sometimes, we choose to be alone. While other times, being alone chooses us.

There are people who experience moments of "emptiness"; like there's a hole inside you or that feeling that you're hollow and that you just can't seem to be filled by anything at that very moment. You may find yourself wandering around, not knowing where your feet might take you. But just walking and not thinking about anything in particular, just some random thoughts; like constantly switching channels of a television.

Sometimes, we're able to figure out the reason why 'alone' chose us or why we chose to be alone. And sadly, sometimes we don't; we just snap out of this reverie and keep moving forward.

Solitude; a state or situation of being alone. A night of one can put you at ease or at times, make you even more anxious. Life has always been so complicated, but there are just times when everything seems too complex and we're left standing at crossroads, not knowing which path to choose and what action to do.

When we think about it, being alone doesn't necessarily mean that we're lonely. I believe that being alone is more of a choice of state or situation while being lonely is more of a feeling or emotion. Sometimes, it even takes more courage to be alone than to be with others. Unless of course, those others are trying to kill you.

Some people take this time of solitude to be able to step back and look at the bigger picture. Life is happening at all the corners of this circle world, and only a few people would stop brisk walking or running to cut lines in MRT in a hurry to go home, go out with friends, or go to school/work. For the few people who would actually slow down and try to take in details from their surroundings, the buildings, the people passing by, the trees, the sky... Sometimes, these are the people who are able to take pleasure in even the simplest, minutest details. At times, they can even be surprised; like seeing things for the very first time even though they've been passing that same street or corner for a very long time. This could be because they're the ones who would take time to appreciate these details' worth. For others who are always hurrying up to get to the next destination, they might find time to be exactly speeding up, matching their pace.

Every once in a while, we tend to have these nights of solitude. But instead of speeding up, take advantage of these moments and try slowing down. Maybe we'll see life around us, and it'll feel like everything else is also slowing down. After all, this is our one life, and it is ending one minute at a time.

By hurrying in life, not only do we fail to see the beautiful sceneries around us, but we also tend to lose sense of where we are going and the reason why.

Surviving the Howling Winds of Habagat

To say that 'the Hagupit (wrath) of Habagat was extreme' is an understatement. First of all, it's not even a storm to begin with. It refers to the southwest monsoon, a weather pattern that usually happens in the Philippines during the months of May to October. During this period, tropical storms usually lambast the country, which can result in up to heavy flooding in large areas of the Metro and small towns or cities in the provinces.

This year, the winds of Habagat got tangled up with the rains of a passing storm, Gener. The storm kind of enhanced the winds of Habagat through an upgrade, i.e. torrential rains. This resulted to a week's worth of classes gone, thousands of Filipinos evacuated from their homes, and a 3-day flooding of huge areas of Southern Luzon.

On the midday of the 6th of August, Monday, 2012, I received an infoblast from the CSC of UST saying that classes have been suspended effective by 12 NN. I was actually overjoyed, since I was really feeling lazy that time. But I totally didn't expect it as well to happen. I mean, never in my wildest dreams did I ever actually think that I'd get to experience such a number of suspension of duty hours during my internship year. It was crazy to begin with.

Nonetheless, instead of going back to UST, I headed straight home so that I can rest since I was feeling a little tired that day. During my jeepney ride enroute to Lacson, I suddenly felt the urge to go back to Tayuman and do some groceries. But since I was really feeling too lazy, I decided against it; a mistake which I just came to realize after the flood was about 4 inches from reaching our dorm's 1st floor.

Picture a chilly night when you're warmly tucked in your bed, with the electricity still on, meaning there's still internet, and everything was just perfect, except for the fact that your tummy aches because it's got nothing to eat since lunch time.

Being a person with a really big appetite, I was craving for food the moment I knew that it was the only necessity which was running out quicker than the downpour of the rain. The only stocks of food left on my drawer were noodles that needed cooking. Unfortunately, our gas run out the afternoon before the flooding began. Luckily, I had my dorm buddies with me during the storm. What we did was, we pooled all our resources together and we ate to our heart's content during the 1st night; a mistake that we only came to realize the day after when the rain would not stop pouring and the flood levels are still rising in most parts of the Metro.

It actually came to a point in time when we were all so hungry that we were trying to call McDonald's delivery and beg for them to deliver food to us. But we were turned down every single time.

We then decided to eat small portions of what was left of our resources during the 2nd day so that in case the rain would not stop until the middle of the week, we would still have some food to eat until it stops. However, during the third day, we were all so very hungry that we had to have my brother go out and brave the flooded streets of Espanya to buy food for us in the Trabajo market near our dorm.

This time around, we decided to pool a different kind of resource, money. We realized that we had plenty of them but that realization has also made us come to understand the saying:

After the last tree is cut, the last river is poisoned, and the last fish is caught, only then will man be able to realize that he cannot eat his money.

It was actually very fitting to this 3-day flooding experience. If I have experienced such during the lambast of Ondoy, I would not have had such very favorable conditions. Comparing my experience during the Ondoy onslaught, we had no food with us, no electricity, no water, no bathroom, we've nothing. I then realized how lucky I really was that my Habagat experience was not interchanged with that of Ondoy's. I was also very lucky to have my dorm buddies with me during this time because they were really resourceful; who would have known that 5 eggs, an onion, and 2 potatoes can actually fill 5 stomachs? It was amazing how man can problem solve at times when there seems to be no other choice but to do such.

I realized how this flooding was not very far to the storms that we experience within ourselves. I mean, we could have all of the characteristics/strengths/traits (the food me and my dorm buddies had), but if we fail to use these efficiently, we won't be able to outlast the storm, and we would die. If we had not these companions (my dorm buddies) to help us get through these storms, we may not last even for a single night. If we had not these blessings, then who are we?

It's just really a simple change in perspectives to see things in our lives differently... and maybe things would not seem too complicated as they seem. Life after all is already too complicated, why make it even more complicated? :)

Untill the next post!

- Keso