That Thing Called Tadhana

I just got home from a client's house, where I provided occupational therapy service for about an hour. I was really tired and I felt like not having dinner and just going straight to bed. But today, I have jogging or Nike Training Club session inputted as part of my Project Summer Bod. So I willed myself to changing into running clothes and dragged myself to the University. I usually jog for about an hour around the grandstand. The first 3 laps for warming up included jogging the three legs of the grandstand at a fair pace, and then doing brisk walking for the 4th leg. This is then followed by 10 laps of nonstop jogging around the grandstand at a slow pace. And then for cooling down, I do 2 laps of leisure walking, still, around the grandstand.

 

During my 1st lap of leisure walking, I was about to pass by a guy drinking from his water bottle. When I was almost in front of him, he started walking at a pace similar as mine so that he was walking just a few steps ahead of me. This went on for about the whole length of 2 legs of the grandstand. I was even singing some lyrics of Coldplay's The Scientist while I was walking leisurely behind him. By the time I was about to be at the same level as him, I decided to overtake him since I felt like he might think I was following him.

After overtaking him, I started thinking to myself, as I always do, how I am growing old real fast. I said to myself that I am already 24 years old, and that if I wanted to be married by 29 or 30, I should have started having a serious relationship by now. I was talking to God, and asking Him what his plans are for me. I started to feel panic welling up on the pit of my stomach, because up until now, I don't really have anyone whom I can consider as someone I'd spend the rest of my life with. 

 

During my 2nd lap of leisure walking, at the same spot where I almost passed by the 'guy', I was looking up at the sky, and enjoying the view of the stars, which is a rare view here at the city, what with all of the smog and cloudy skies. While I was singing some lyrics of Coldplay's A Sky Full of Stars, somebody tapped my left forearm, and I jolted. I immediately took off the earphones and turned off the music. It was the 'guy' from before.

He said, "Hi! I don't usually do this. But, can I ask you a question?" Flabbergasted, I replied, "Oh, ok. What is it?"

 

He said, "I just noticed from earlier, but are you perhaps following me around?" If it was somebody else without the cute face, I would have been offended. But I couldn't get myself to feel irritated. Instead, I felt kilig vibes all the way, what with all of the cuteness in the way he said it. So I said, "Umm, no, of course not! I was just doing my cooling down. In fact, it's my 1st lap of leisure walking."

He then said, "Oh, man. Really? You were just really doing some cooling off? I mean, cooling down?" He looked disappointed but in an amused kind of way. "Oh, well. by the way, I'm Dave." I was shocked, but I shook his hand as I was introducing myself, "Lara."

And then he went on by asking me about where I live, why do I allow myself to be tired if I've got classes the next day --- to which I answered that I don't have classes anymore, and then he figured that I was already a graduate. And he was really amazed and shocked that I was not a freshman, that he thought I was kidding. We talked about my job, and from which high school he graduated from. We talked until we finished one lap of my leisure walking. And then, he said, "Listen, if ever you're gonna be doing this again, can I jog with you?" I jokingly replied with a smirking face, "Well, can you keep up?" He laughed and said, "Okay, now, I'll be the one to boast. I was actually a football athlete during high school. So now, I'll ask you, can you keep up?"

He asked for my number. But for some unknown reason, I replied that I have not my mobile phone with me. He thought I didn't want to give him my number, so I told him in a hurry, "Okay, okay. I'll get your number." And then he gave me his number, we shook hands again, and we parted ways.

I was supposed to go home at a leisure walking pace, but with what happened, I couldn't stop myself from running. Because I couldn't believe that what just happened really happened. I never really thought that "tadhana" is something that plays a role in my life. But even though it's just for one night, and it's prolly not something big as well, it made me realize that sometimes, life doesn't just gives you lemons, it taps you in your hand and hands you out a lemonade --- something you're not expecting, but something that might be, JUST MAYBE, even better.

Cut Short

I looked him in his eyes, and I saw sadness, or maybe even regret? Looking back, I never had the faintest idea that I would ever harbor feelings for this guy. I remember the first time we met, it was an ordinary but inevitable encounter; we were both trainees vying to be one of the new staff therapists of a hospital. I was a fresh graduate, and he was a year ahead of me, but we both graduated from the same university.

The moment I saw him, I knew he was the type of guy that every girl should watch out for. Then and there, I labeled him 'douchebag', and he confirmed it gladly when he opened his mouth to speak.

I was actually pissed off by his "confident" aura. And the joke that he cracked at me didn't help as well.

His next words pulled me out of memory lane. He said, "define cheating?"

And we were back to my question in which I asked him how many times has he cheated on his girlfriend of 4 years.

He continued without letting me answer, "like going out? on a movie? with a girl?"

I felt my face burn up, I was not sure if he was referring to the movie-out that we did a couple of weeks ago. So, I said in reply, "like, a date with malice."

Then he said, "only once; Ender's Game." This time, I was sure my whole face turned red. He was referring to the name of the movie that we watched.

A flashback of that night showed me in simple casual wear, walking along Araneta Center, with tears streaming down my face. It was my first 'movie-out', hell it was even my first date ever, but it didn't end quite well. So many things contributed to why it turned out as a flop. First of all, I arrived earlier at the meeting place and had to wait for around an hour for him. Secondly, he kind of used his phone and talked to someone else during the movie. And thirdly, he did that again just to let me hear the 'yes, I'm coming home now'-move after the movie ended. I mean, the movie was great and all, and there was no awkwardness between us --- until he did that douchebag move. But the number one reason why that movie-out was a total flop? It's the fact that it's not even a 'date' to begin with.

Then I just changed the topic. He asked about how my love life was doing. I told him about a suitor who was actually from the same school during HS. He asked me, "so, what's holding you back?"

I stopped fiddling with my glass of beer and said, "well, there's this guy..." And then I looked him in his eyes as I said, "but he's no longer available." And so he replied, "have you any feelings for this guy now?" I replied, "I'm not sure; I don't know. How would you know?" And we both just shrugged.